Beyond the Image of Incapacity

Roars of laughter in the cafeteria. Sturdy resonance of lecturers along the quiet hallways. People walking to and fro. Amid the hectic and always on the go scheme of the Ateneo, there she is, cheerfully mingling with the crowd and seemingly breaking the homogeneity of elitism that is undeniably full in this academe.

She is different from the others, from what is normal, subjecting her to reproach and criticisms of people who do not completely understand. Katherine Nicole Q. Agustin, better known as Kaye to her loved ones, is one of the many whose special condition is worthy of admiration. She is short, standing about less than four feet because of the malformation of her legs. She has only four fingers on the right hand, while only two on the left fused together by a tissue. Kaye is the eldest of three kids, the only girl in the family and the only special one. She grew up and became conscious with the condition already part of her system. Her mother did not take any drug during pregnancy that would have been the cause. All that she knows is that it is inborn because that is what God has planned for her. No questions asked. Her condition was never an issue to her family especially to her younger brothers. They treat her with all love and respect.

As an innocent child, not everything was easy for Kaye. There had been a lot of times that other kids would tease her ‘pandak’ (short) or ‘unano’ (dwarf) adding to her natural timidity when she was young. Hopeful that everything would be better for her, Kaye tried to use artificial legs when she was around 4-5 years old but it was even more painful, unbearable for a child of such age. She gave up and abandoned the prosthetic remedy. There was also the option of surgery. Then again, she refused. The procedure as well as the recovery would take time and this would delay her schooling. Being truly diligent and enthusiastic in her studies, she did not want this to happen so she decided not to undergo medical operation. Therefore, she lives as is, with her head held up high, not minding what other people say about her. Whenever hypercritical eyes throw judgmental expressions to her, she readily replies with a sweet smile worn on her beautiful face. Often times, curious children would come close to her and just stare intently from head to toe. This is not disturbing but even amusing for her. She will even joke around, “Wow. Sikat na talaga ako. Haha!” (“Wow. See? I am famous. Haha!”).

Kaye, just like any other girls, lives a simple life. She loves pink, hates animals and fears heights. Kaye is in fact afraid of the overpass in Gate 3. Her works should be done according to some standard, maybe by importance or by the need. Her things should always be complete and arranged in some manner. Her papers are kept in folders accordingly. What else can we conclude than she is a bit obsessive compulsive? She wants everything polished from her actions up to the simplest detail of her belongings. She was even teased as the class National Bookstore way back in high school. She is a cheerful person but at times, she prefers to be alone especially when feeling blue like what anyone else would do. Perceptibly, there is really nothing unusual about her except her height and the structure of her hands and legs. Her body is typical. She has charming eyes and when she smiles, the blend displays her radiant beauty.

Kaye is not the common stereotype of a disabled person. She is not debilistated. She does not let her condition incapacitate and paralyze her life. Though she does not insist on what she cannot really do, it does not end there. She pushes herself to the limit and goes out of her comfort zones too. She had voice lessons, exposure to public speaking and excellent marks in school. She was even part of the top 20 students of the graduating class in high school.

Entering college was a great challenge for Kaye. The environment was totally new since she came from an all girls’ high school. The distance between the buildings became a concern for her parents that Kaye may have difficulties. Eventually, she was able to adjust and was happy of how fellow Ateneans treat her. People are always willing to help her, from the security guards to the vice president of Loyola Schools. She remembers, “Ma’am Cuyegkeng became my teacher at lagi niya kong tinatanong kung ok lang daw ba o may problema ako.” (“Ma’am Cuyegkeng became my teacher and she always asks me if I am doing well.”) It is heartwarming, because of this, the difficult became easy, and Kaye was able to improve holistically. “In high school, I used to be nerdy and boring”, says Kaye, “but now, I can tell I balance work and play very well.” Evident to this, she actively participates in many organizations in the campus. She is a hub manager and NSTP Project Director of Management Information System Association (MISA) and a part of Ateneo Student Catholic Action (AtSCA) and the Sanggunian. Kaye is now in her junior year of BS MIS and has been enjoying scholarship grants for two years now.

People who do not personally know Kaye may think that she is the type who will get offended talking about her condition but surprisingly, she is not. When you ask her about it, she will gladly tell you her story, as if chatting with a long time friend. Every word that comes out of her mouth will make you hang on, then you’ll find yourself nodding and smiling with the impression at the back of your head telling you that this person is no ordinary. “There is nothing to be ashamed of. Blessed ang mga taong katulad ko at alam ko, maraming proud sa akin.” (“People like me are blessed and I know, many people are proud of me.”) Indeed, and nobody will argue about that.

Other people who see only her physical appearance may say that she is pathetic, thus she needs to be given special care and attention but in fact, she is the one devoting her attention to other people. Kaye engages herself in charity works and outreach programs whenever there are opportunities. Admirable isn’t it? This small girl has a big heart for others and what she has does not hinder her to reach out. Instead, it is what she uses to help. Kaye shares, “May mga taong natutuwa na makita lang ako and that overwhelms me, na nakakatulong ako sa ibang tao.” (“Some people are already happy seeing me and that overwhelms me, that I am able to help others.”)

She may be physically different from most of us but she still manages to be herself in spite of what the society presents to her. This is because she is determined and has a positive outlook in life. Others may judge her but many love her. She is an ordinary girl with simple desires, a big heart and great dreams. Kaye is not the only one who has that condition. There are many of them but what makes her stand out is her being one of a kind in the Ateneo. She even does better than those with good height, great legs and complete fingers. As of now, Kaye’s main goal is to finish her degree, hopefully with flying colors. Being a daughter of an electrical engineer and a doctor puts a lot of pressure on her so she really works hard to prove herself, not only to her parents but also to all the people who believes in her and to those who put her down as well. Finally, when asked what she could say to people sharing the same experience with her, Kaye inspiringly said, “Love your life. Believe in yourself. Walang ibang tutulong sayo kundi ang sarili mo.” (“Nobody will help you but yourself.”)

Amid the hectic and always on the go scheme of the Ateneo, there she is, cheerfully mingling with the crowd and seemingly touching every person she meets with her story, her personality and most importantly her way of magis - doing more, beyond the image of incapacity.

By Eunice P. Papas(092816)